So, cis queers, if you think that this is horrible and abusive* and should be stopped, but this is cool, or edgy or a good starting point for converstation...

Feel

Free

To

Fuck

Right

Off.

And maybe, you might think about why, I am pointing to those too cases?

*It is horrible an abusive, as well as non evidence based and should be stopped.
Also posted on Dreamwidth

Can't spell? Clearly you are stupid.

First off, I like The Polyamorous Misanthrope, a lot, this is not an attack against that blog.

But when I read this, I grimaced, because, yet again spelling and grammar are brought up, not because it is hard to read, or because poor English skills lead to one being misunderstood but because writing skills are a measure of worth.

Write intelligently. I don’t generally bother writing back to people who can’t write a full sentence with proper use of punctuation and spelling.

My first though is "shame for you" but this view is so all encompassing, everywhere I can't stop from grating on someone like me, someone who spent school bored, but clearly stupid because I hadn't mastered reading, and everyone else had.

Also posted on Dreamwidth

Got half way though this, please read it, I am now shaking and freaked out, because mini-FP issues are so fucking close to what I went though in school, my heart goes out to him, I and I wish FP all the strength in the world when caring for her child.

May they both have a great future.
Also posted on Dreamwidth

It is a very upsetting story, that little light posted, but if you can please please please read it
Also posted on Dreamwidth

because I am not on T, I assume people see me the way the government sees me, that is as a cis women, it turns out that sometimes I am wrong, went out this morning, without coffee and without my binder, on a mission to find milk and bread, I throw on the first shirt I found, trying not to wake those in my house who where sleeping and bleary eyed stumbled into the supermarket, a small child ran into me, cute, it happens, it didn't hurt, "mind the man", her mother snapped, and grabbed the kids arm, I couldn't help but feel a little pride, even keeping agreeing with dean when he says

I’m supposed to be wholly joyous when I get called “sir” or “boy.” How could I ever have such an uncomplicated relationship to that moment? Each time I’m sirred I know both that my look is doing what I want it to do, and that the reason people can assign male gender to me easily is because they don’t believe women have short hair, and because, as Garber has asserted, the existence of maleness as the generic means that fewer visual clues of maleness are required to achieve male gender attribution. link


That without any attempt to be read as male, it happens anyway, but the thing is I have *no idea* how often this happens, because I don't get feedback, often I open my mouth first and my fucking squeeky arsed voice makes people re-consider, but times like this, I guess, I just feel a little more comfortable in my skin.

Also posted on Dreamwidth

Did I mention that I am involved in this really cool project, no, no I didn't.

I'm sorry.


Call for Submissions: Nonstandard Trans Narratives Collection

Everyone cares about trans people's histories.

Psychiatrists want us to provide histories of an unrelenting hell, with
no ambiguity and no questions.

The mass media wants us to provide histories which demonstrate, on
camera, pretty trans women's commitment to putting on dresses and
makeup.

People like J. Michael Bailey want our histories not for their own sake,
but to prove their pet theories about gender and sexuality in humans:
histories not of people, but of data points.

And cis society wants our histories to validate the cisgendered, to
confirm that they're healthy and normal and that we're broken and
abnormal.

But us? We're trans people who want our histories back. We want to speak
the complexities of our histories without fear or favour. We want to
speak our histories without having to worry about how people will use
them against us: to deny the reality of our identities, to deny us
medical treatments, to deny us our humanity. We want to own our
histories. We want to own us again.

( Read more... )


Also posted on Dreamwidth

This is inspired by someone on my friends list, but the quote is locked and I wont out them *they are free to respond or not as they see fit*

First time I came across the term sex positive feminist I hated it, I id'ed as a rad fem at the time and felt that they took an overly optimistic view of the world, and fell into the traps of middle class I have choice lets talk about that feminism, something which is still endemic to feminist as a whole, then I read a book which changed my life
A Restricted Country by Joan nestle
, gave me the strength to start cconsidering gender (though the lens of passing women*). I read about the struggle for lesbian rights, about McCarthyism and the fear of "are you now or have you ever" but it was one of the last essays in that book that shock me to my core, I think it was called dyke's and whores, and sort to draw connections between socially unacceptable female sexuality, I remember lying in bed, struggling with her words, how could she say that lesbians (good sexuality) and whores (bad) where the same.

Binaries are funny things aren't they, so for all the things I have to thank Joan for I think the most important thing for me was that she pointed out I still judged women by how they behaved sexually, and in doing that I mirrored the patriarchy I was trying to avoid.

The specific quote from my friend was that sex pos feminists believe avoid the real issue, we talk about the workers rather than the product of pornogrpahy, and it is the product that does the real harm (assuming consenting and well treated workers), now first off, I don't believe that sexually explicit material is in of it's self harmful, I do believe much pornography needs to be challenged and discussed for its racism, sexism, the very small set of body types it uses, as well as many other issues.

However I would invite anyone to sit down and watch the latest season of Australia next top model with me and not come up with all the same complaints, "you will never be the girl next door" said to a women of non Anglo (I believe aboriginal) decent or the size 10 model told that she no longer made a dress look good because of her weight. I don't think as feminists we do ourselves any favours by setting up yet again good women bad women stereotypes, which I believe the porn critical feminists (look mum no scare quotes) do when they set up mostly het ( because this conversations often talk about male partners using porn against their partners wishes) - mostly economically privileged (in that they are not people who might have to do survival sex) women as victims of pornography which contributes to a society where women are only seen as sex objects.

Women have always in Western societies, and I suspect in all societies been seen as sex/marriage/procreation objects, as connected to their fathers, their husbands, their brothers, the real people and frankly given the choice I would, as someone passed as female rather be seen under the guise of cock hungry whores 48 rather than the genesis's eve, the reason we no longer inhabit the garden of Eden, or Pandora, a punishment sent to man bringing disease and pests to the world.


Female assigned people who passed as men, many of whom I now believe would consider themselves trans men/genderqueer today.

Today is transgender day of remembrance, a day to remember those who where raped, killed or left to die because they where transgender.

Have a look at that list and tell me again that we can talk about one issue, when these people where killed because they sat at margins of the margins, these people who where violently beaten down because they dared to be often poor, often of colour and transgender, some of them where sex workers, some of them where assumed to be sex workers simply because they where trans. Some who dared to go out as their true selves while not passing, and others that dared to live their life, and where killed because cissexists felt it was in their right to assume everyone else was cis.

Their is nothing I can say to honour their lives, no words can right the violence done to then, but I will not forget them, and hope for a year when no names are added to that list.

Last couple of days have been very interesting in one regard, I can't go into details because of the people involved but I realised that I had fucked up badly and what I previously thought was someone attacking me and cutting me off for what seemed like no reason was really me fucking up and jumping all over triggers. If I have also done this to you at any point I am sorry, I am taking some time to process and to work out how to not do this in the future.

I'm not sleeping, except when I am and then I am sleeping though classes and work.


I am being weirdly self sabotaging, putting of work till the last minute beyond my usual laziness, I need to work out why and stop it really fucking soon or I am going to be in big trouble.
( my dreams suck. )

Their are good things in my life, I have recently started a relationship with one of the most amazing people I know. I have a shrink who I like, who seems to know what he is doing and who seems to think that T would be a good thing for me, and is working on me to get me into the best mental health space possible before I start fucking with my hormones.

That is an understatement, I am forced! Forced I tell you to blog about it because someone took a complex issue, the relationship between consent and power imbalance and decided to make it into a collection of fucking bulishit about men and women's "natures" all cis, all binary gendered, of course.

So sleeping with the boss/sleeping with the underlings, it happens, I am not even going to say it is always inethical, my thoughts on this somewhat mirror my thoughts on close to of age relationships with older people when they are "consensual" that is, that they are not always harmful but they are more likely to be harmful because of the power imbalances within them.

I have read that most people relationship start in the work place, and hey not all of those are going to be same level. I have had several bosses who I would drink with, bitch about my social life with and generally have person non work based conversations with, I have never sleep with a boss, and while I would be wary of it, I am not saying I never will.

I think, to make a relationship like this ethical then the person with more power needs to be aware of the risks and limit their power over their partner, this might mean finding their partner another line manager, or having both members of the relationship report to the person above the boss.



No, no no no no no no. Let me rewrite that for you. Some people are attracted to other people, particularly other people who they spend a lot of time with *like their boss*

I've had a crush on one of my bosses. Genius, scrawny nerd boy very pretty in a slightly scruffy way. Not father like, fuck I dough he was that much older than me, anyway, he was really hot, like damn it I should be concentrating on this meeting not your tight shirt, oh did I mention he was a gymnast and a rock climber, who wore tight shirts... yeah....

Some women are attracted to father figures, some men are attracted to father figures some people who are neither are attracted to people with really hairy backs. It happens, womens lib will not be held back by decent sexual harassment and abuse of power laws.

The I am autism video made me cry last week.


It contains the line. Which sounds a lot like.
So they didn't kill Ebony, only the worthless shell after the real girl had been stolen by an ilness so horrifing.

Actually _I_ am part of the disability community and you don't fucking speak for me. I want suicide rights for everyone people, including the mentally ill. Because we have bodily autonomy too.

  crocheted packer, you guys! Best thing ever! (NSFW)

Except that I am posting this from work.

Child rapist - run out of public housing after the government changed the law to let them do it. He was jailed for 14 years for the 20 year old assult

Child rapist - outcry when he was taken into custody, after he plead guilty and leaving the country against the court rules.

Moral: Be a great artist.

Edited to add: Err, I should give some more background, this conversation happened at the end of me explaining what I do to manage panic attacks which for those who are interested it is a mixture of breathing exercises/meditation with anti angsity meds as a back up. Also I took out the bit about migranes as I don't think it helped.

One day, if I get really bored I might do just that. But for now, stupid doctor of the week/month/whatever

"The thing about panic attacks is just to realise that nothing bad is going to happen and to sit though it"

my actual response was "yes doctor now could I please have the letter I need"


What I wanted to say was that only someone with no empathy and no experience of panic attacks could say that, because plenty of bad things are going to happen, my heart rate will go up, my stomach will twist into nots and I feel like shit. It also occurs to me that this kind of thing isn't generally told to those who suffer migraines although at least from my limited understanding migraines don't cause problem aside from their symptoms.  - added back in because as ciaraxyerra  suggested it important to keep the context, even though I do regret saying it.

1. The illnesses I live with are:
Depression
Panic disorder
Dyslexia
ADHD
Dyspraxia


2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:
Depression: 1997ish
Panic disorder 2009
Dyslexia 1997 ish
ADHD 1997ish
3. But I had symptoms since:
Depression : 1990 ish
Panic disorder 2004ish
Dyslexia 1989
ADHD Birth
( Read more... )